Happy Post is Happy

My last post was a little… intense for me to write. While I love how cathartic those “bare your soul” kind of posts are, I need a breather.

So, today, I’m going to share some funny stories about hubby and I.

A few weeks ago, hubby and I celebrated our one year anniversary… on the wrong day. How did I deduce that it was the wrong day? I looked at my Facebook timeline and realized that I was a week off. (I also got a big old, “You mean I was RIGHT??” from Jason about that one.)

This actually follows in the tradition of everything regarding our wedding being a bit of a hot mess. From the hilarity of mistakes made while filling out our marriage license to utterly failing to plan literally anything until the day before the wedding (which also happened to be the day I got a new job), our wedding was absolute chaos from start to finish. Don’t get me wrong, I loved our wedding ceremony and wouldn’t have had it any other way, but there’s no denying that it was insane.

Before we got married, we didn’t know what we were doing and while we’ve learned along the way, we’re still pretty clueless.

Story from before we got married:

Jason hurt himself and since we didn’t have a hot-pack, he filled a sock with rice and threw it in the microwave… for 6 minutes. I was in the bedroom and noticed an awful smell and some smoke. Then the fire alarm starts going off. Jason yells at me to get outside, so I do. He dumped the flaming sock into the sink and doused it with water to put out the flames before bringing the melted sock and ruined microwave outside. Neighbors came by to see what the ruckus was about and I watched the grass slowly die around the remains of the sock.

The apartment smelled for about a month after that.

Now, we have a dual hot and cold pack that looks like a kitty. (This means we get to say fun things like, “Would you like me to put the kitty in the freezer?”) We know that it is not to be in the microwave for over 2 minutes and that it needs to be put inside a plastic bag before it goes in the freezer.

Isn’t it cute?

Story from several weeks ago:

Please reference this post, in which I discuss going out to explore nature at 8 PM, hiking 1.5 miles to get to the beach and watch the sunset, then realizing that the way back was 90% uphill. This ended with us realizing our car was broken into and a chat with the park ranger about why we were out so late. Good times.

Now, hubby won’t take me anywhere when it’s that close to dark and he makes sure I’m not signing him up for masochistic activities.

Some other silly things I’ve done include:

  • Before marriage: Going to the beach and wearing flip-flops when it was actually rather cold and discovering that the beach doesn’t have sand. Instead, it has a lot of broken seashells and other hard things that really hurt when you step on them.
  • After marriage: Going on a week-long vacation with my husband and limiting my footwear to two pairs of flip-flops (when I should’ve anticipated we would be hiking and visiting the zoo).

On the other hand, there have been times where I think we have perhaps learned the wrong thing. For instance, a while ago I totally freaked out while I was taking a shower because a very large mosquito almost landed on me. Jason heard me screaming and comes running into the bathroom, thinking someone is trying to kill me. When I told him that a mosquito was in the shower, he just walked away. He was so angry. “My knife was drawn. I was ready to end someone and it was a freaking mosquito!”

A couple days ago, there was a giant fly in the house. It landed on me and I freaked out a little. Later on, I spot it going in the bathroom so I shut the door and tell Jason to go kill it. While he’s trying to kill it, I start playing music from the Undertale soundtrack, so hubby thinks I’m mocking him. (I didn’t mean it that way, but once it started playing I laughed a little.)

He comes out in a few minutes and says he hit it a few times but can’t find the body. It then appears in the kitchen again and I’m like whatever I’m taking a shower. As I’m washing my hair, my earring back falls off. I call for Jason because I can’t tell if it went down the drain and regardless I want him to take the rest of my earring so I don’t lose it. He doesn’t come. I figure he can’t hear me because he’s either outside or my music is too loud. When I get out of the shower, I say, “Why aren’t you ever inside when I need you?” Yadda yadda yadda…

“Oh, that’s what you wanted. I thought you were yelling because that fly was in there or something.”

“I specifically tried to sound less panicked so you would realize I wasn’t screaming about an insect. Though you should still come if I’m screaming because someone could actually be trying to kill me.”

One last thing…

I never had a dog or a cat while I was growing up. We took in a stray kitten when she was a wee little thing, maybe a week or two old, a year before I moved in with hubby. It broke my heart to leave her behind. Ever since then, I have wanted to get a cat.

This week, we almost succeeded in getting one.

This is Panther. Panther showed up Monday and we got her to come inside. However, when we closed the screen door, Panther made the most pathetic, horribly sad sound I have ever heard in my life. We let Panther return to the outdoors.

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Engagement

Today is my one year WordPress anniversary. Go me for getting back on the ball and being able to say I have made… 12 posts this year. Woo!

More significantly, hubby and I will have been married for one year in about two weeks. As we were watching Golden Girls last night, I asked him if there was anything he wanted to do for it. He said no. I said… I want to go to the beach. (This is me, after all.)

I have also been reflecting on our time together, partially to figure out what would be a good anniversary gift, but mostly because I am overly sentimental. Like I told hubby last night, I want to record some of our stories before I get old and senile.

“You’re 25. You’ve got plenty of time.”

“I know, but I forget things already. I want to do it now.”

“Whatever.”

So today, let me tell you a story.

It was my 23rd birthday. Hubby and I had been dating for about 5 months. We started talking when we were playing The Hobbit: Kingdoms of Middle-Earth on our phones and I was visiting his family for the first time. (He lived 700 miles away.)

I didn’t have a whole day of celebrations mapped out, but I knew I wanted to go to the mall. Hubby’s mom, hubby, and I set off. I got my nails done (navy blue) and we wandered around for a bit. Hubby got me some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles socks from Hot Topic while his mom looked at a few things for hubby’s sister. We went down to meet up with his mom at the food court when we saw a woman in a long black coat drop her purse. Hubby got it, handed it to me, and said he was going to run after her.

I followed after him but when I got around the corner, the lady had already run out the door. Hubby said to look in the bag for some identification so we could get it back to her. I opened up the little black bag and there was nothing in there except a little scrap of paper. I was fumbling with it and got it unfolded when hubby tapped me and said, “here.” I turned around and he was down on one knee. He took my hand and asked me to marry him.

I was confused but so happy. I looked back at the paper and it said, “Turn around.” I looked at him again and said yes. We kissed and suddenly hubby’s mom was popping out of the little photo booth in a long, black trench coat asking “Did she say yes?”

I had had a hunch that he was going to ask me to marry him while I was visiting, but he still found a way to surprise me. He always does.

The Wedding

My wedding was not one that most little girls would have imagined while playing with Barbie. There was no cake, no rice thrown, no church, no reception. And I am so glad that it turned out that way. Instead of worrying about whether or not all the decorations were the way I wanted them, worrying about the food, or whatever arrangements we would have made otherwise, I was simply elated that everything came together and that my friends were there with us.

I woke up around 8, showered, and hubby went out to the bank so we could pay our officiant (not for doing the service, but because he had to use this really expensive babysitting place). Hubby came back with Jack in the Box. I ate my breakfast burrito and made sure everyone was up to speed.

Our officiant, D, was in my new hire class for my technical support job. Hubby and I had started playing Dungeons and Dragons a few months ago with D, his wife, another friend from tech support, and one of D’s wife’s friends. When we first started playing, D had joked that he could marry us at one of our D&D sessions. I had planned on taking him up on marrying us, eventually, not on a D&D night, but at a full ceremony with white dress & all. Well, obviously, that’s not what happened and our D&D sessions ended fairly decisively after our shift bid at work put us all on different schedules.

Our first witness, A, was on my team after our new hire class was initially split up to fill existing teams. She is one of the nicest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Technical support has not crushed her love for other people, which is quite the feat.

D arrived first and since A wants to start playing D&D, we went over game mechanics and such while waiting for H to arrive. I can’t really call H my “better half” since that title definitely goes to the Hubby, but it feels almost as applicable. We were both English majors though her second major was history and mine was economics. And until I took the new job last week, we were both working in call centers. She is already so much part of the family that Hubby calls her his second wife. Anyway, she landed, got the rental car, and booked it to the apartment.

The ceremony took approximately three minutes. We got outside, everyone decided where they would stand, I showed our neighbor how to use my camera, and then it was time. D asked if there was anything we wanted to say to each other before the ceremony started and there was a bit of a pause. I just said, “I love you,” and hubby said he loves me too. Then D asked if we took each other as husband and wife, we said we did, we kissed, and we were married. We went back in the apartment, had everyone sign the papers, D and A left (A had to work and D went to get his son), and we took H out to eat.

I don’t know if most couples are ready for the ceremony to be over so they can be alone with their new spouse, but Hubby and I had so much fun being good hosts for H. We gave her the book lover’s tour of the area and Hubby got both H and I Kindles completely spontaneously. After we were all pooped out from shopping, we came home and changed out of fancy clothes – Hubby and I both rewore the same clothes we wore on our first date – and I took them out to dinner. Hubby had to do homework – so very romantic – so H and I watched Deadpool and then we all went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up early and Jason told me he had had a dream about pie – sweet cherry pie! He then fell back asleep and when he got up a few hours later had no recollection of that. Sadly, he had to work, so H and I had the afternoon to ourselves before she had to fly home.

What exciting things did we do? She went with me to clear out my desk at old job and turn in my badge and company phones and then we briefly went to the mall. We tried to tell her that she didn’t have to go and she could just stay forever with us but she wasn’t having it.

On Monday, I did start my new job, but you will hear all about that in a future post. All I want to say now is that I am incredibly happy and blessed to have Jason as my husband and that I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. My family was a little taken aback since they all found out after the fact that we had made it official (except my mom, since I had to call her for some information to put on the wedding license), but they accepted our “snap” decision and I wouldn’t change a thing.

In short, while my wedding board on Pinterest has over 100 pins and I had some grand schemes in the back of my mind for the big day, I didn’t need any of that. I got exactly what I wanted – I got married to the man of my dreams and get to spend the rest of my life with him. Nothing could be better.

Reincarnation

Last week, Jason finally came home from Kansas and for the first time in months, we had a full “weekend” together (Thursday and Friday). We went to brunch Thursday morning because there was absolutely no food left in the house. We were planning on going grocery shopping after, but I said, “Let’s go to Goodwill and see if we can find a table.” We’ve been living in our apartment since last October and still do not have a kitchen table. We don’t have room for one, but eating off our knees is getting pretty old.

Jason had other plans. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, he just said it had something to do with our future. We pulled into the parking garage downtown and got out. We stopped to look at the map of the buildings around us and then it hit me. “We’re getting our marriage license, aren’t we?”

“Uh-huh.”

The gentleman at the counter gives us the form to fill out and we go sit down. I can’t remember where my parents were born. I call my mom. Jason leaves the fields blank. We look over the form and I was Party A originally and on the second part I was Party B. We go back to the gentleman and he looks it over. Whoops, forgot to put down where I was born in that field. Jason apparently missed that field, too. “Which state were you born in?”

“On the border of Arkansas and Missouri.”

“What do you mean, on the border?”

“The hospital was literally on the border of two states.” The gentleman gets up and brings over a supervisor. I nudge Jason and ask him what it says on his birth certificate. I hear the supervisor say to the gentleman that she’s never heard that before and she walks over to us. Then, the supervisor asks what it says on his birth certificate.  Blank. So, Jason was told to pick one. He does and the gentleman enters all the information into the computer.

“When you said you were taking me to somewhere that had to do with the future, I thought we were going to the space museum.”

Afterward, we decide we are going to get our driver’s licenses updated at last. When we looked over the records to get everything updated, Jason’s file says he was born in the state he didn’t pick for our marriage license. Oops.

Jason looks at his temporary driver’s license picture and asks me if he really looks like that. “…yes.”

I text a picture of the two licenses side-by-side to his mother. She texts him back.

“You look like a serial killer on crack, sweetie. :D”