Everything I’ve Learned About Blogging (Without Actually Blogging)

I’ve made blogs. A lot of blogs. So many blogs that I feel like I should be an expert on the subject, but I still have a lot to learn. That’s why I’ve spent the last few days reading a lot of articles, “Pinning” a lot of infographs, reading a bunch of helpful blog posts, and designing (and immediately deleting) a lot of logos. I even attended a Webinar. Super fancy, huh?

If the people of the internet are to be believed, then here is what you need to do to be a successful blogger. Continue reading “Everything I’ve Learned About Blogging (Without Actually Blogging)”

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10 Ridiculous Technical Support Stories

I have been working a different job for almost 2 weeks now, and now I shall reflect on some of the craziest things that ever happened while I was working in cellphone technical support.

1. From time to time, I would get calls that should have gone straight to sales. This customer called in to find out about our Mother’s Day promotions. I shared that we did not have any such promotions at the national level and she would need to go in to her local store to find out more about any such promotion. She then asked me to hold and I heard her answer a call. Not a personal call – this person worked in a call center and put me on hold so she could answer her call. Except she didn’t even put me on hold.

I worked for a cellphone carrier. We have access to so much personal information that having your personal phone out could get you fired immediately. This customer worked for an insurance call center.

I was stunned, so I muted myself and told my team manager. She was like, well, regular hold policy still applies… If they don’t come back in two minutes, hang up.

Unfortunately, the customer came back before the two minute mark. I shared our current plan options and that the plan she was on was best for her. She then asked me if we match plans (no) and outlined our competitors’ plans (I don’t care). She then began an epic tale of how we are the Worst Service Provider Ever and before I can say anything, she asks me to hold again.

“I’m still here, I’m just waiting on this PDF of your policy to load.” No, you’re not. She comes back on the phone and I tell her that if she wants to cancel her service, I can get her to our cancellation department but that we don’t have any offers that are going to be better than the one she had.

2. This mother wanted to unlock her daughter’s phone. The daughter was already in China – of course – and without a phone. I shared that her daughter’s phone was ineligible for unlock because it was not paid off/out of its service agreement yet. I shared that the iPhone 5 on the account was eligible for unlock and that the daughter could swap phones with that person. Not the best solution, but at least it was an option. The mother says, in a very condescending tone, that the iPhone 5 does not work in China. Apparently in China you have to have a 6 – everyone has a 6.

Yes, Apple never bothered to make the iPhone 5 work in one of the most heavily populated countries in the world. Makes total sense.

When I explained that the daughter’s work phone, an iPhone 5, did not work because it’s a Verizon phone and doesn’t use the same network technology that they use in China, the mother was still adamant that it was because it was an iPhone 5. So, I shared that she can either pay off the rest of her daughter’s phone or her daughter can purchase a phone in China that would not need to be unlocked. The mother refused because she didn’t have money for another iPhone 6. I then attempted to explain that the iPhone 6 is not the only phone for sale in China and that her daughter does not, in fact, need an iPhone 6. Yes, this was one of the rare cases where I actually let my annoyance show.

3. And there was that time that a customer was in England and needed to unlock their phone and thought that they needed the PUK code. Generally, if you have heard of a PUK code, you know what it’s for, but this was not the case.

4. The woman who called in to disable private browsing on her husband’s work phone so that he would stop chatting with his mistress.

5. The customer who told me his signal booster had been hit by lightning and then asked if the company was “in bed with the CIA.”

6. The customer who called in thinking that Google was his service provider because he just got his new iPhone and one of the apps says Google. He also kept saying that his email address was hisnameagmail.com. Honey, that’s an @ sign.

7. The customer who called in and told me he was going to be part of a special research project on Wake Island and wanted to learn about coverage options.

8. The customer who was upset about not getting service at the Grand Canyon.

9. The customer who wanted me to call back on a weekly basis to check on her because the weather app she downloaded had infected her phone and she needed to extract every contact, picture, and note from her phone without using iCloud before she would erase it.

10. The customer  who called specifically to ask me to lie to her child about setting up GPS tracking on his phone.

And many more that will probably only resurface after I have consumed several adult beverages!